By Marine Galvez, CIS Affiliated Consultant & Founder, Rethinking Normal

 

 

Debates and debating skills are highly valued in education. Most students learn debating in class and can join a dedicated club or even participate in Model United Nations.

At its core, practicing debate hones the art of persuasion.

Schools consider the ability to persuade others through conversations, presentations, speeches, and essays—an essential life skill.

While debates occur throughout our lives, viewing every conversation as a potential debate can drive disconnection, treating every interaction as a competitive win-lose scenario instead of a chance to share ideas and feelings.
 

I often wonder what the world would look like if students spent as much time learning to dialogue in school as they do debating.

How might the world transform if we truly valued students’ ability to engage in conversations focused on mutual understanding rather than on winning?

What if we learned more about the art of a successful conversation as one in which we were moved, stretched, and even, dare I say, changed our minds?

This vision guides my work in dialogue facilitation. I teach students that dialogue is a fundamental skill and help them engage in collaborative and empathetic conversation with each other.

What, exactly, is dialogue?

My work has taught me that very few people know what dialogue really is.

I often begin my workshops by drawing two columns on the board. In the first column, labeled "Debate," I pose these questions to groups:

• What is the goal of debate?
• What are the skills needed for debate?
• How do we learn to debate?
• Where do we see debate modeled?

In response to these questions, I consistently find students eager and ready to share everything they know about debate from school, politics, and social media.

In the second column, labeled "Dialogue," I repeat the exercise.

Here, students are noticeably more cautious. They seem to think dialogue is just casual conversation and are unsure what learning it or seeing it would look like beyond typical banter.

Yet, dialogue is not an innate skill. It is rigorous and must be taught.

One needs to develop and practice the ability to listen generously, navigate cognitive dissonance, question previously held beliefs, speak from personal experiences, acquire new information, and maintain diverse perspectives.

In our rapidly changing and interconnected world, we fail to equip young people with essential tools for effective collaboration if we teach them only to debate.

Three reasons why we should teach dialogue

1. The goal of debate is to win. The goal of dialogue is to understand.
   
   Debate is a form of conversation where the primary goal is to present a superior argument, fundamentally assuming that the other party is an oppositional threat.
   
   In contrast, the goal of dialogue is to seek understanding across difference, fundamentally assuming that the other party is an essential asset.
   
   The goal of dialogue is not to determine who is right or wrong or even reach an agreement but to grow together and add to the common pool of knowledge.
   
   In this polarized world, we should teach students to listen with humility and a desire to bridge gaps in understanding.
   
   The goal should be mending the divide between opposing camps, not becoming the most convincing advocate for one side.
   
   The ability to engage in meaningful conversations across differences is essential for our collective future.
   
   2. In debate, one listens to respond. In dialogue, one listens to learn new perspectives.
   
   In a debate, we listen to respond, actively seeking flaws and weaknesses in others' ideas to bolster our arguments.
   
   Debate operates under the assumption that there is a right answer and that you can have it if you play your cards right.
   
   Therefore, listening to the other party becomes primarily a strategic endeavor: how can I leverage what they say to enhance my competitive edge rather than seeking common ground?
   
   In dialogue, listening is powered by curiosity.
   
   It assumes that many people hold pieces of the answer and that only together can we find the solution.
   
   Listening in dialogue involves vulnerability and humility—a willingness to be surprised and changed by what you hear to gain a fuller understanding of the issue.
   
   3. Debate promotes entrenchment. Dialogue promotes expansion.
   
   Debate tends to reinforce entrenched positions and the defence of one’s own ideas. It often treats different viewpoints as a zero-sum game that dismisses the possibility of multiple truths coexisting.
   
   Consequently, changing one’s mind in a debate is seen as a sign of weakness rather than strength.
   
   In contrast to debate, which can perceive differing viewpoints as mutually exclusive, dialogue recognizes that no single perspective can fully encompass reality.
   
   Dialogue fosters a growth mindset, where students are expected to be lifelong learners about people and the world.
   
   By emphasizing dialogue, students are better equipped to navigate complex issues and innovate inclusive solutions to the world’s pressing problems.
   
   By fostering a culture of dialogue, schools can prepare students to engage thoughtfully and collaboratively in a world that desperately needs these skills.

Ways schools can foster a culture of dialogue

• Organize and offer a Dialogue Club in addition to a Debate Club
• Integrate moments of intergroup dialogue in classrooms
• Teach about dominant narratives and cognitive dissonance in various classes
• Practice dialogue skills like generous listening and non-violent communication in advisory programs
• Train students in facilitation skills, not just in presentation skills

Schools must prioritize teaching dialogue and create more opportunities for students to learn from each other in this way.

Education is not primarily about competition; students deserve spaces to explore collaboration where winning is not the primary goal. These qualities are vital for building a connected and equitable world.

 

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Marine leads courses in dialogue facilitation and develops resources to help teachers guide brave conversations on critical issues in their curriculum. Learn more about Marine and her organization Rethinking Normal.

Related content:

• View our full list of CIS Affiliated Consultants
• Post-secondary pathways: Ways to broaden definitions of success
• Tough talks: Discussing race & bias with children
• Tales from the road: The art of questioning
• How to talk with kids about the climate crisis